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Colin Harrison
Sophomore
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Karma: 0 |  | aimless wandering [open]
« Thread Started on Feb 19, 2008, 4:38pm » | |
Colin looked like an idiot.
He was well aware of this fact, but there was really not much he could do about it. Fact: Colin hates the winter. He has nothing against snow (quite nice really) and it’s not the cold that damns it completely (though that plays a large role), but more the fact that during the winter you spend a massive amount of time inside. Colin tends to get stir crazy after spending too much time inside. It’s odd: it’s not like Colin is the most outdoorsy person in the world, far from it actually, and he never really notices spending much time outside. However, winter rolls around and suddenly he always wanted to just get out of his dorm, classrooms, the school, everything.
Which brings him here, walking along the almost abandoned main street of Whitefall. He would rather be running, really, but running was not in the cards today. He was willing to put on layers upon layers of clothing to try and stay warm, but that inhibited motion to a degree, and there were few things Colin hated more than the feeling of breathing hard in cold weather. How it feels like your throat is closing and your chest burns and you’re sure you’re going to die any second? Yeah, that feeling. It’s more trouble than its worth. So instead, Colin was just walking. He had no real destination in mind, just walking away from school, and most importantly, outside.
Despite all his best efforts, Colin was still freezing. For all the feeling in them, Colin wasn’t sure he actually had legs anymore. The concept of layering is great, but what exactly are you supposed to layer on your legs? Colin wasn’t the type to own long underwear, thankyouverymuch. He was just wearing a pair of jeans that were horrifically not warm at all. The bottom of said jeans were shoved into Colin’s snow boots, which were conveniently quite warm. It is true that much of his idiot look came from the bottom of his jeans being tucked into his shoes but the only thing worse than being cold is being cold and wet. To compensate for the lack of layering pants-wise, Colin was wearing a freakish amount of layers on top. If he remembered correctly, there was a long sleeve shirt, one sweater, another sweater, and his pea coat. He looked fairly obese, which is kind of a feat. Topping this all off was a tacky ski hat with ear flaps and, yes, a pompom, a wool scarf, and a pair of moderately warm gloves. Good news: he could feel most of his body. Bad news: yeah, yeah, he looked like an idiot.
He had been walking for a while, and while his head was a bit clearer than it had been, Colin still didn’t want to head back to school right away. As he was considering his options, Colin found himself at the entrance of the town park. The place was absolutely deserted (what parent would take their child out in freezing weather?), and on a whim Colin turned into the park and continued his wandering through the park. Before long, he happened upon the swing set. As a child, Colin loved the swings absurdly. When he was five, he was terrified of them because his cousin pushed him until he was going a bit too high for comfort and dared him to jump off. One broken wrist later, Colin swore off swings. However, childhood memory is short and when the cast was gone so was the fear. He always enjoyed the feeling of almost flying. He never did try jumping off from very high though, apparently some hesitance remained.
In a moment of nostalgia, Colin wiped the snow off one of the swings and sat down. He wrapped his hands around the two chains, the cold deep enough to be felt through his gloves. The swing was hung for a body much shorter than his, causing his legs to fold up awkwardly beneath him. Despite the uncomfortable height, Colin remained for a moment, rocking back and forth slowly.
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Charlene Denmark
Freshman
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No one ever said life would be fair.
Joined: Feb 2008
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« Reply #1 on Feb 19, 2008, 5:03pm » | |
Ha! Good old snow, a thing of terrible coldness, but the holder of many memories for the fiery Charlene. Back home in Canada, one could only imagine the snow there and all that cold weather. Up there, it was probably colder then Michigan, but, honestly, who was paying attention to such a thing? It was still a cold, snowy winter wonderland. Probably a prettier sight then most would actually acknowledge, because of constant fears of tripping up and falling flat on their face. Now that would be most unpleasant indeed. That was the kind of day in which nothing matter besides getting home to the electric blankets and hot chocolate. Not that Charlene didn’t like those kinds of things. After all, hot chocolate was one of her favorite drink and electric blankets were the coziest thing ever in her opinion. Just that she, as a art student, saw a bit more of what was in front of her.
In her sky blue eyes, when it snowed, it looked a lot like heaven was supposed to. All white, like a dove’s wing. The ice freezing over metals and other things around the town made the objects look much more regal and the snow looked like the clouds. And when it would fall to the ground from the sky, it seemed like little stars raining down from the darkness. A very romantic picture and a lovely one. If only it really was what she saw it as. But she didn’t believe in heaven and if it was real, she probably would get kicked out or not even accepted in the first place. No, she didn’t live the most honest life, she supposed.
The red head had been sitting on the wing for probably more then a hour now, pondering things while smoking the occasional cigarette. Once a kid ran up to her and sad smoking was bad. Charlene just ignored him, so he ran away to his mom, the woman looking at her curiously. It was annoying when people looked at her that way, but that was what came from smoking a cig in a kid’s playground, rocking back and forth on the swing.
Life hadn’t been all that up lately. The day she had packed her stuff up and left the new house to her new dorm, her parents fought and couldn’t even look at each other, much less her. All they would do was look away and say; “Tell your mother…” or “Tell your father” bullshit. Thankfully her sister was there with her, or Charlene probably would have lost it. That night, after unpacking and hanging out with her sis, she snuck off campus to a club with a fake ID and got herself a few drinks, trying to calm herself down. She came back at eleven at night, nobody noticing she had been gone.
Lighting another cigarette, Charlene sighed. She didn’t like crying, so she didn’t. But apart of her wanted to, just to see how she would feel after word. Suddenly, she felt the swing next to her move, eyes turning over to see who was on it out of curiosity. It was a boy all bundled up in layer after layer. A little smile curled up her lips before letting out a puff of smoke. She recognized him from around her school, but didn’t know his name.
“ Hey, you go to Carstairs Academy, right?” Charlene asked.
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Colin Harrison
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« Reply #2 on Feb 19, 2008, 9:52pm » | |
As much as the sense of nostalgia was nice and the cold air and time away from the school was doing good things for his mental state, Adam figured he should probably be heading back to the school relatively soon. He did value his facial features and it felt like they might fall off soon. Not to mention his fingers and toes. Despite the supposed quality of his boots and gloves, he was pretty sure all twenty digits were well on their way to requiring amputation. Typically, his thoughts then turned to whether enough nerves could be salvaged from frostbitten fingers and toes to allow for functional prosthetics. How cool would that be? You could have normal working robo-hands. Before he could begin worrying too much about the theory and practice, a girl’s voice interrupted his thought process.
Oddly, Adam wasn’t really all that shocked when the girl spoke. In theory, he should be quite surprised that he managed not to notice someone within a few feet of him when there was almost no one out and about at all, but Colin wasn’t known for his powers of observation. Give him a lab to do and instructions on what exactly he should be observing and he was golden, but set him loose and leave him to his own devices…well, it’s lucky he doesn’t run into walls more (and yeah, that implies that he does occasionally run into walls).
So when she asked his name, he turned towards her with a touch more embarrassment than surprise. It’s not exactly good credit to completely a) ignore someone or b) not notice them at all. While Colin fell into the latter category, he wasn’t exactly sure which would be better or less embarrassing on his part or which one the girl would assume. Actually, it was giving himself a ton of credit that she would even care. Pretty much completely undeserved credit too. He recognized her from school, but couldn’t place her face with a name.
“Yeah, a sophomore. I’m Colin. And you?”
He stayed turned slightly towards her, still trying to recall a name before she responded. The most noticeable, or rather, the most incongruous part of the picture was the cigarette held in her hands. Colin may have been forcibly sheltered, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he was offended by the sight of someone –oh no!-illegally smoking off campus, it’s just something that stands out. No matter how used to holding cigarettes you are, if a person is still in the early stages of high school as this girl appeared to be, a cigarette would stand out. He was tempted to be really obnoxious and say something about how smoking kills (he did know a few statistics drilled into his brain by health teachers over the years about the incidence of lung cancer, emphysema, and all those fun disorders). It was semi-reactionary: he was still somewhat edgy about the fact that he looked and acted like a moron, so he might as well be an asshole, right? Overcompensate for embarrassment by acting like an ass in return. However, Colin was pretty sure he was making mountains out of molehills. And really, even if he wasn’t, it wasn’t like he had a reputation to uphold. He already was considered an extremely awkward person by oh, the majority of people. One girl wouldn’t be the tipping point. Furthermore, it’s probably better to be an awkward idiotic than an asshole.
Also, Colin just wouldn’t have the balls to do it, to put it eloquently.
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Charlene Denmark
Freshman
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No one ever said life would be fair.
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« Reply #3 on Feb 19, 2008, 10:57pm » | |
She had dressed warmly for the snowy day, Charlene being used to the usual cold weather of such areas, being a native of such areas. Yes, she was from Canada, but the state of Michigan and that part of Canada she was from climates were basically the same. So she was in a beige sheep fur coat, a pair of tight black sweat pants, warm rainboots with heavy socks, and a black beanie to match. Sure, she wasn’t cozy warm but compared to some, it seemed like she was in a small room with a lit fireplace. Now that was nice to imagine on days like that.
Releasing another puff of cig smoke, she pushed some stray hairs away from her face since they were tickling her cheeks and nose. Her bushy, curly red hair always got in the way. So much so that she almost got it cut and straightened into a jaw length bob of sorts. But then Charlene realized it would look like total shit on her, with her round face and all. Plus, with a lot of hair she had a warmer head in the winter, which was always good since it wasn’t that hard to stand long hair in the summer. Just put it up in a pony tail and that would be it.
Looking straight at the boy, no longer staring off into space, she could tell what he was thinking. Basically people where always amazed that a girl at her age was smoking. It wasn’t a thing you could see every day. Sometimes she just wanted some one to think about why she did it, instead of why she shouldn’t. So many times, people think about the whole ‘death thing’, but that didn’t bother people as much as they would think. Not everyone is afraid of death. Some people are just worried they won’t do the things they want to before the end. And that was one reason people probably stopped smoking. Why Charlene kept on doing it? Now that was only for people she knew and trusted, but she didn’t have that many of those.
“Charlene. Only a freshie though. Poor poor me. Lowest part of the food chain.” Charlene joked, shaking her head before bring her cigarette up to her lips once again. Most would wonder why she had even decided to talk to him in the first place, he being a nerdy guy at school. See, she really didn’t give a shit if he liked math and she liked art. There was more to life then that. Plus, he seemed like a nice dude and was friends with Kit, who was a new friend of hers she had met in her art class. She wouldn’t just be friends with anybody.
“Do you want one?” She asked, taking out her pack. Charlene knew that he probably didn’t want one, but no harm in being polite, right? Didn’t want to just go on with her own and not ask if he wanted one too.
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Colin Harrison
Sophomore
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« Reply #4 on Feb 20, 2008, 8:42pm » | |
He nodded once after her introduction, cracking a half smile at the joke about the freshmen place on the food chain. Oh freshmen, such a young, innocent lot (yeah, that was sarcasm. Colin had offended a few too many people in the past by saying things in a deadpan that weren’t meant to be taken seriously. It’s not his fault that the common man has no sense of sarcasm, but it is his fault that he usually ends up getting insulted on a good day and punched on a bad day for these sarcastic missteps).
When she offered the pack, Colin shook his head without much hesitance. “No thanks. I’m against being a human ashtray, but thanks for the offer.” He said the second half in a light tone, pairing it with a somewhat subdued smile. It was a bit of the dig he was tempted to make before, but it wasn’t meant with malice. Hey, to each their own. He wasn’t judging much and hopefully she would pick up on that. If not, eh. What’s done is done.
Post introduction, Colin wasn’t really sure what to say. Though he wasn’t able to recall her name, he and Charlene did have at least one friend in common – he was about 90% sure that she and Kit were friends – and anyway, Carstairs isn’t a huge place- people just sort of know people. However, that doesn’t mean that people have anything in common. He and Charlene were the type of people who didn’t really have anything substantive in common. He was racking his brain, trying to think of something to bring up. In Colin’s eyes, there are no such things as comfortable silences. There are kind of awkward silences and really awkward silences. They were currently in the small interval where it is not awkward (but still not comfortable-no such thing as comfortable, remember), just in the natural pause between one person speaking and the next.
As he ran through possible things to ask (for some reason, he could still only think of obnoxious public service announcement esque statements about the danger of smoking), Colin dragged one of his feet back and forth lethargically, pulling the swing forward and back a bit. The chains of the swing creaked loudly with each movement, somewhat ominously. These swings were not made for teenagers, and while Colin was practically underweight, he weighed significantly more than the average elementary school kid. Furthermore, his layers probably added significant weight. Do swings ever just break? Because that would be extremely unfortunate. However, the likelihood was extremely low and the silence was moving into awkward, so Colin figured he should probably stop worrying, no matter how difficult that could be.
“So is there any reason you’re out here besides the pursuit of illicit activities?” Colin asked. “I may not be an expert, but I’m pretty sure there are places more convenient to the school if all you wanted was a smoking break.” Part of the reason he was here was because he hadn’t really planned to run into anyone. It wasn’t the most common destination in the world and it was far enough from the school on a cold day to be a bit of an unusual destination.
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Charlene Denmark
Freshman
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No one ever said life would be fair.
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« Reply #5 on Feb 20, 2008, 11:46pm » | |
Knocking her head back, a laugh shot out of her chapped lips. Now if that wasn’t witty. To Charlene, he seemed like the guy who would be, but you never can be sure until you actually experience it. He also seemed quite intelligent, but she wasn’t sure if he was arrogant or not. Some guys with a hell of a big brain loved to flaunt it, which wasn’t exactly a attractive quality. But then again, if you work hard, there is nothing wrong with showing off every once and awhile. Plus, as many a persons says, if you got it, flaunt it! Tossing the cigarette down, she crushed it into the snow, the smoky aroma disappearing to her nose. She knew Colin could probably still smell it on her, but it wasn’t as if she cared. People were around smokers a lot of the time, no matter how much they wanted to avoid it. It made her a bit mad the way people couldn’t look past the cigarette and into the person, but some people did and that gave her a bit of hope.
“ Really? Oh my gosh Collin… are you trying to imply something?” Charlene asked, tone being high pitched. It was kinda obvious that she was pretending to be a valley girl at that moment, since if she had responded in any other way, it would have made her seem quite mad, or seem to be taking it the wrong way. This wasn’t the most terrible thing someone had said to her, so she didn’t take it seriously. Pulling her beanie down a bit with her finger tips, warm hair wrapping up her cold ears, the teen just rocked a bit more on the metal swing, a little smile on her lips.
Looking over at him, she realized that he kinda looked like a friend of hers back home. They had grown up together, went to school together, but he ended up rejecting her because of her smoking problems. Charlene supposed he was trying to help, but it was far from it. He had been a bit of a nerd, but played soccer and stuff too. A well rounded student with great grades and all that. The girl had often found herself jealous, but never actually said it. After school, they would walk home together and maybe get a coffee on the way just because it made them feel warm in the cold weather. Oh, how she missed him.
“Maybe I like the freezing cold? Or maybe I like a lesser chance of getting detention.” The red head responded, pressing her lips together as if she was going to give a very unpleasant kiss to the air, eyebrows raised. As far as the average teen, Charlene was a little crazy, but fun It was fun to play around with people. One of her good qualities was that she didn’t care about what people thought of her, only what she thought of herself. After all, at the end of the day, its with living with yourself. But she knew she did some things she wasn’t exactly proud of herself for doing, yet they made her forget about home and her parents.
“But I actually just came here to think clearly, away from our lovely jailhouse of a school.” Charlene said quickly, grabbing on to the chains of the swing tightly.
“What about you? Why are you out here, in this freezing weather?”
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Colin Harrison
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« Reply #6 on Feb 23, 2008, 10:33pm » | |
Colin laughed briefly at Charlene’s high-pitched reply. Well, it didn’t seem like she took that the wrong way, which is always good. As she ground out the cigarette he considered saying something about how she didn’t have to on his accord, but that’s kind of egotistical, right? Anyway, he seriously doubted that she was doing anything completely on his accord. Colin was generally against first impressions – he had to admit, Colin was pretty sure he was extremely readable, first impressions of him were probably extremely accurate – but Charlene didn’t exactly seem the type to do something purely for a stranger’s convenience. Also, saying that he didn’t mind the smoke was kind of a lie. He wasn’t for dictating other’s actions, but he was just as happy not inhaling the smoke. The smell wasn’t all that terrible, more the actual smoke. Delicate lungs and all.
Jailhouse, eh? Yeah, the boarding school life wasn’t brilliant. Colin really couldn’t complain too much, leaving had been his idea. He would have given just about anything to get out of his town. He had nothing against his parents, they tried, really, they were just difficult to be with. They are the people who don’t fully grasp separation of church and state, believe everything the bible tells them, and still approve of George W. Bush. Not to mention they think being gay is a massive sin, but that’s something that Colin would like to think about as little as possible. Anyway, he wasn’t sure how they were his parents and he was who he was, but weird kids from weird parents. So he shouldn’t be writing home about hating school or else he’s be right back there. It took begging to get out, and he had set his sights a bit high. Schools in Boston, New York City, all sorts of places that were practically exotic. Carstairs was approved because it was basically in the middle of nowhere. Not too dangerous for their little boy, right? Colin would take what he could get.
Colin nodded once at the second part of her answer before responding. “Much of the same really. I should be doing some of the heinous amount of work we have to do, but I’m pretty sure I couldn’t spend much longer trying to remember useless facts about history without trying to destroy my textbook, and normally I consider myself a fairly good student.”
“On second thought, the ‘destroy my textbook’ thing sounded less violent in my head. I’m not a psychopath I swear. Though I guess bringing that up is also kind of unsettling.” Colin paused and pursed his lips a bit. “On third thought, let’s scrap that bit of the conversation. I’m digging myself into a nice little hole, so let’s just move on, shall we?” Colin blushed slightly. It could be the cold of course, just making his cheeks pink. The color was absolutely not from embarrassment. Nope. Never. He was pretty used to it though, Colin was kind of the king of awkward. It was quite extraordinary in some ways. He chose to stay silent instead of trying to rectify his statements, figuring it could really only get worse.
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Charlene Denmark
Freshman
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No one ever said life would be fair.
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« Reply #7 on Feb 23, 2008, 11:06pm » | |
The redhead was quite glad he had given her a little giggle. He seemed to feel very awkward about the situation, even though the two were just talking. It was a bit hard for her to truly understand that feeling, but she tried to make things better. See, she couldn’t ever find awkwardness in a harmless conversation between two students. Maybe if it was two students who were ex lovers or whatever, but not so much this situation. She was just a very social person and getting awkward feelings wasn’t a good fit with her. If it was, one could only imagine the depressed girl she would be. But then again, she would always have her sister, since Freya would never give up on her. Even though they were sisters and were as different as can be, the two were like peas in a pod. Charlene knew for a fact that no matter what, she could talk to Freya and she would love her for who she was.
Looking over Collin’s shoulder, blue eyes fell upon the sight of a mother being held by the finger of her little boy, his desire to play in the snow out shining her freezing body. But she continued to smile, which didn’t surprise Charlene at all, but never became less inspiring. Love doesn’t make one blind, only makes one stronger. You see the faults and you still feel the pain, but you go on anyway, because it makes the ones you love happy and in exchange they go on for you. The love a mother has for her child went deeper and farther then most ever could and that love was one that can never cease to give inspiration.
Collin began to speak once again, Charlene’s eyes brushing over his eyes and lips as he spoke. When she talked to a person, she would always try to make her eyes meet theirs. It just made it clear she was listening and a easy way to avoid awkwardness. What if you weren’t listening and they asked you a question, but didn’t know how to respond? Not that would be horrible. Made her feel cramped up in a box by just thinking about it, which wasn’t a great feeling at all.
His words were kind of confusing, changing his mind after his first sentence then telling her to forget about it. Now that threw her off a bit, but didn’t much mind. Actually, she found it to be rather cute and funny! His awkwardness made him seem like a puppy that needed a good friend or a home to make him happy.
“You know Collin, your kinda funny.” She said bluntly. It was just a observation and she wasn’t trying to be rude or anything, so she hoped he wouldn’t take it the wrong way.
“Your from New York, right? I have always wanted to go there.”
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Colin Harrison
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« Reply #8 on Feb 24, 2008, 12:52am » | |
Colin raised his eyebrows slightly at her claim he was funny. Frankly, he wasn’t sure what his reaction should be. He didn’t think she meant it in a malicious way at all, or even in a mocking way, but still it was kind of out of the blue. Well, maybe she was just one of those people that said what they thought. Well, if that was the case, good for her. Apparently she didn’t think it was bad-funny, since she was still here an all. “Thanks, I guess. It’s not necessarily intentional, but I’ll take what I can get.” He spoke somewhat hesitantly, as he still wasn’t sure what reaction was most apropos but he supposed it would seem odd if he just ignored it.
“Well yeah, I’m from New York. But you don’t want to go to my New York. You want to go to the city, right?” Colin didn’t really wait for a response; everyone wanted to see the city. That was the standard answer. “My experience with New York City is limited to a terrible school trip in third grade where they put us on coach buses for hours, herded us off the bus for a tour of the Empire State Building, herded us back on the bus, drove around the city a bit while a tour guide went on and on about what wonderful things we were passing from the inside of our bus because god forbid we actually walk, herded off the bus in Times Square, left to stare around at the lights for a bit while people who were actually going somewhere and other tourists tried to shove by us but then gave guilty looks because we were little kids, and then herded into a showing of Cats. Maybe I’m just not a musical guy, but the idea of singing and dancing cats holds no appeal.” Colin paused for a moment. He was talking far more than he usually did, especially with an almost perfect stranger. Well, once you’ve started might as well go with it. “My New York is boring and gross, to put it frankly. It’s a step up from the middle of nowhere: I guess I live in a suburb but we’re not a suburb of anything. There’s no city really close by to be a suburb of. I knew plenty of kids who lived on legitimate farms, animals and all. The high school I would be at if I wasn’t here had agriculture classes – you could learn how to be a farmer at school. Future Farmers of America was pretty much the biggest school activity except for football. It is not majestic, exciting, anything. It makes Carstairs look magnificent.” At the last bit, Colin rolled his eyes slightly. Remember, he shouldn’t complain about boarding school, it was so much better.
“And where do you hail from?” Colin asked. She had known he was a New Yorker but Kit was a mutual friend and she and Colin had become friends mostly by nature of that fact. He didn’t recall knowing where Charlene was from and it would be better to have known and ask again than to throw out a common place and hope for the best. It was funny, at Carstairs you got an interesting mix of people. Some were born and raised in Whitefall, some families moved there, many kids, like Colin, were sent as boarders. Colin knew of a few people who were international, as well as a decent sampling of the US. Apparently even if it’s in the middle of nowhere, a good school will draw people from all over.
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Charlene Denmark
Freshman
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No one ever said life would be fair.
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« Reply #9 on Feb 24, 2008, 1:33am » | |
Rocking from side to side, back and forth, on her swing, her ears were wide open to wha he was saying. It was very amusing, his depiction of his third grade fieldtrips and his opinion on Catz. She was really surprised they had even taken them to see it, but life was full of little interesting tid bits of information like that. At a certain point, Charlene let out a bit of a giggle when he told of the tour guide telling him of the things they could see outside of the bus instead of just walking. She could see that he had a point, but then again it was much easier for a kid to get lost on the streets of New York then in a tour bus. After all, a lost kid is the last thing a school, teacher, or even a student would want to deal with. There was always a chance they would never be found too. God, thinking about what could happen to that imaginary kid made chills run down her spine, so she blocked her annoying constant thinking and continued to listen.
“Damn! Agriculture class? Wow… well, we didn’t have that class back home! The lands around my town aren’t exactly very good for farming.” Charlene reminisced, thinking of her school back home and her friends. It had been a ugly building, relatively plain and gray, almost like someone had died in there so the school was in constant morning. The principal went along with that theme too, since his outfits only consisted of blacks and grays. It was very ominous, but the students, with the wide variety, gave the school color. There were the populars that gave everyone hell, the preps, the nerds, the punks, the Goths. A usual high school scene, along with the group of kids famous for their trouble making. If she had stayed on at that school, Charlene probably would have been accepted in to their circle, but fate had totally different plans. Now she was at a school full of preps and shit, no one that was really out there and crap. Or so it seemed to her.
“I’m from the famously freezing country of Canada.” She responded, tilting her head to the side, remembering her social studies class for one reason or another. Strange how things can just pop into your mind like that. But anyway, to continue. “Just a usual town, with the usual people. It wasn’t so normal that it would make you want to scream or nothin’, but it wasn’t all that special. But its still home.”
Leaning back so far that her curls were brushing the snow, air went into her lungs, then came back out, ready to continue talking.
“We moved down here because my dad got a better job that he adores. I guess I am here because of my ‘behavior’. But its better here then at our new house, and I know that. Yet I keep on wantin’ to be there. Its really weird, knowing you are better off someplace else, but wanting to be where you shouldn’t be.” To be honest, Charlene had no idea why she was telling him all this. He was a total stranger. Maybe not so much anymore, but still. Yet, maybe it was best to tell people you don’t know that much since telling people you do know well might make things a bit more complicated. And if he didn’t want to hear it, all he had to do was make up some excuse and leave.
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Colin Harrison
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« Reply #10 on Feb 24, 2008, 7:33pm » | |
Colin watched her as she answered. Technically he had been to Canada once, but only the opposite side of Niagara Falls. Big trip. Anyway, Canada was massive and saying ‘freezing’ didn’t really narrow it down much. He smiled slightly as she tipped back on the swing. In all fairness, he had come out here mostly for solitude but she made for interesting company.
He took note of the behavior comment. Really, he didn’t know her well enough to have much of an idea what she was referring to – though the smoking was probably a part – but it was interesting. After she finished talking Colin didn’t respond immediately. He looked up, as he tended to do when thinking. The reason wasn’t entirely clear, just habit. Likewise, Colin pushed his glasses up his nose with his index finger. It too was a habit mostly, more often related to a lack of something to do or boredom than actual slipping of the glasses. He was aware it was a pretty stereotypical geeky thing, the glasses themselves were. It was funny, Colin’s parents thought they did him a huge favor by surprising him with a trip to the optometrist for contacts when he was in seventh grade. They assumed that he wanted out of the glasses, but really they were more of a comfort thing than a necessary evil. He’s been practically blind forever and a lack of glasses made his face look absolutely bizarre to him. Colin was well aware that the thick frame rectangular glasses were the new nerd stereotype – the days of the thick round glasses had passed. At times he considered that he might want to be a bit less of a walking talking billboard for accurate first impressions, but it really wasn’t worth it. People will come to the same conclusions eventually anyway.
With that in mind, he considered how to answer Charlene’s statement. It’s entirely possible that she was just thinking out loud or being rhetorical, but it was something that Colin had thought about before. He started speaking somewhat hesitantly, choosing his words carefully as he wasn’t entirely sure where he was going with the entire train of thought. “I think people - in general, you may be the anomaly for all I know - tend to put way too much blame on their environment. It’s the whole deal with new beginnings and starting over. In my experience, people can’t separate between what they are and what their environments makes them. Everyone thinks that when they move they’ll get a clean slate and everything will be better, they can start over. But no one can ever really start over, right? You are who you are, there’s really only so much you can change. So people move and think they’ll be better off, but they’re not, so they keep on trying for that place where things are ‘better.’ Maybe no one wants to take responsibility for their own actions and emotional shortcomings.” Colin paused. “And I guess that’s kind of a tangent and maybe not what you were really referring to. But yeah, I think it comes down to hope about ‘better times’” It was a pretty lengthy response to something that she may’ve not really considered a major comment, but attempting to ‘take things back’ usually just made it worse and ended with him embarrassing himself. It would be easy enough for her to leave if she wanted to and just as easy to stay.
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Charlene Denmark
Freshman
member is offline
No one ever said life would be fair.
Joined: Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 14
Karma: 0 | | Re: aimless wandering [open]
« Reply #11 on Feb 24, 2008, 8:25pm » | |
Charlene gave the occasional nod as he spoke, analyzing what he said. He was right in many respects, but didn’t exactly know what was going on back at her parent’s place. It wasn’t really about a clean slate or starting over for her, since that wasn’t what she wanted in the first place. She wasn’t asking for a second chance, like so many before had. You can’t really start over, because your past will always follow you, no matter how much you try to cover it up and pretend it never happened. Part of it is that you won’t forget it, and another part is that things resurface, either from your record or from something else. Starting over wasn’t really possible. Trying to live with your mistakes and learn from them was.
The one thing she wanted to change with the move was her parents and their relationship. Always fighting in the dead of night, believing that she couldn’t hear the bags and the loud voices and the harsh words. Those nights were so vivid in her mind, every vibration and every tone clear as day in her thoughts. Often she would pretend the bangs were just shoes falling off her mother’s shoe rack and that the loud voices where the drunk teenagers outside, which there were on occasion. But she knew it not to be true. And then she would cry and cry. It wouldn’t stop, the tears, as she remembered it. But after she moved, Charlene stopped the tears, not liking to show her true feelings about the matter. And she did everything she could to make the crying stop. Everything.
Suddenly, she felt a bit of tears rising up into her blue eyes. Charlene wanted to take out a cig and smoke, to help her relax. But Collin was obviously uncomfortable with it and she really didn’t want to bother him. He was a nice guy and it wouldn’t be very nice of her to be rude. So she swallowed them back down, hoping he hadn’t noticed them for the few seconds they had lingered in her sky blue eyes.
“ I see your point.” Charlene replied, pink flesh of her hands pressing harder on the metal chains of the swing. “But when I mean ‘better off’ at Carstairs, its meant that I have a better chance of being happy here. Home isn’t exactly ‘home’, you know what I mean?” She stopped there, knowing that if she continued that her story would spill out and she wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear it. Plus, she didn’t want to bother her with problems, since he probably had some of his own.
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Colin Harrison
Sophomore
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 11
Karma: 0 | | Re: aimless wandering [open]
« Reply #12 on Feb 26, 2008, 12:37am » | |
Colin continued to rock back and forth on his swing as he listened to Charlene speak. He was only moving a few feet each way, not enough to cause him to break eye contact too much, just enough to give him something to do with nervous energy. Sometimes Colin was convinced he had some type of disorder, but who doesn’t have a massive penchant for self diagnosis? If Colin had all the diseases he decided he had based on descriptions out of the DSM-IV, he wouldn’t be able to function. Hopefully it didn’t appear as if he wasn’t paying attention to her, rather he was able to be more focused moving than if he attempted to stay there perfectly still.
For a moment he could’ve sworn she looked upset, but then the moment was gone and Colin was almost as sure that it was a figment of his imagination. He seriously hoped he had imagined it. Colin didn’t work well with upset people. It sounds crass and cruel, but Colin has no idea how to comfort people or be a decent companion most of the time.
Besides that, he wasn’t quite sure what exactly to think about this turn of conversation. It was interesting, yes, and Colin didn’t expect to run off in the next couple of minutes unless something drastically changed, but it wasn’t exactly typical small talk. That doesn’t make it a bad thing, small talk in general is dull and terrible to try and dance around boring subjects pretending you’re interested, but he wasn’t sure if it was much of a step up to be discussing the pathetic aspects of human existence. Alright, so that’s a bit of hyperbole, but even so, not an conversation that will really up your spirits.
“No, I know what you mean. It’s similar for me too, Carstairs is easier than home in some ways.” Colin stopped, not really intending to say another more. However, he was rarely able to just let things lie, and thus he continued. “I mean, really shouldn’t complain much, my situation is great by many standards. It’s hard to judge when you’re in it.” There he stopped completely, unsure of how to either continue or change the subject, so he remained silent for the moment.
Colin frowned slightly. It was hard to dictate exactly. He shouldn’t blame his parents. Colin hated the idea of hating his parents, it made his skin crawl and came with an overwhelming sense of sadness. The tried so goddamn hard all the time. For years and years Colin wished for siblings, not for himself, but for his parents. He wanted someone else to try and live up to their hopes and dreams, give them another target for their unquestioning love and affection. Colin tried. If he ever was completely honest with them, he doubted they would be angry. Anger would be easier. Far harder is silent disappointment that their perfect little boy might not be all perfection.
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